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Psedoscience
CHLOROHPYLL Chlorophyll for those who take it is an experimental thing. It is the national drug of Afro-Austo-Eur-asia. Sadly the increase in chlorophyll caused stuff like hippies and rock stars everywhere and none could stop them so....We joined them. I can like see my ears man. Chlorophyll is a not-so-controversial practice that has recently been growing as a popular alternative to, well, everything. Despite a long history in European culture, the practice remains largely taboo. Excessive consumption has been known to produce undesirable side effects, and plant-related human fatalities. Even unapologetically frequent consumers caution against using more than two or three plants per day. PSYNAPTIC LEAVES The euphoria produced by chloerophyll has been subject to much speculation throughout history. Hitler believed that the high of chlorophyll was the direct result of absorbing the plant’s soul and that, consequently, the consumption of a large tree would have a commensurately larger effect. When Hitler went out to try his theory, all that was found to remain of him was a large green stain. Others claimed that the leaves’ fleeting postmortem gases produce the euphoric effects. The great crafter Paracelsus was known to recommend chlorophyll as a cure for influenza, the gout, syphilis, and most of all, boredom. In his Archidoxis Chlorophyllia, he states that "verily, the greateſt of the medicines is the chlorophyll that be consumed thru the mouth or nose, as it cureth gout, leprosy, and varied maladies. Of those I have attempted to conſume, the little green ones ones mess one up the best." Paracelsus believed that the effects of chlorophyll are caused by the human microcosm absorbing the biological microcosm; it should be noted that the Archidoxis Chlorophyllia was written under the influence of the aforesaid “little green ones". Ultimately, the key to chlorophyll's effect lies deep within the brain stem and is still not clearly understood by scientists. Recent evidence, however, suggests that a protective layer or "soul husk" surrounding the actual soul is the part of the chlorophyll absorbed into the bloodstream that inspires rainbows. This would explain how the soul remains intact, and why leaves become "edible" again within a matter of months, as the soul husk is regenerated. Unfortunately however, these new findings have been largely ignored by the consumption community, the members of which still believe leaves to be permanently depleted, causing many to "dispose" of used chlorophyll. Careless chlorophyllers have reported that if the leaf is held in the mouth without being passed to the lungs, it can cause temporary numbing of the tongue. Although there is little research done on leaves sprinkled with grass, the only study done so far has shown that due to the volatility of the resulting chemical mixture, these leaves may cause speed-typing addictions and/or head explosion. BENEFITS While much is still unknown about chlorophyll pharmacodynamics, in a recent breakthrough researchers at the UncycloProject On Drugs discovered that leaves have an inhibitory action at several of the neurotransmitter reuptake pumps; tiny green leaves can additionally cause neurotransmitter release after entering the axon terminal. The psychopharmacological jargon for this is that regular-strength leaves "mess you up", while tiny green leaves "mess you up real good", according to the researchers. Long term effects The Following is a list of effects from Long term huffing: The inexplicable desire to bury your feet and hope it rains Hallucinations of the leaves you've eaten/sniffed (they won't be happy to see you) Unintentional death A fear of axes A strange hunger for soil Entertainment during otherwise serious moments. Being a traveller of both time and space. Finally understanding Life the universe and everything in it Getting high Knowing everything, in its entirety, all at once. Finding enjoyment from a pair of glowing squishy Ducks. (which were ban by lingminging) Finding Waldo... and understanding where he has been. Playing day time computer, when you should be doing something productive like taking chlorophyll... Loss of job and life forced to live a sad and depressing life on TV all the time (probably)